My Mother's Eulogy

One of my most favorite stories about my mom has to do with my birth. I was 11 lbs when I was born and as anyone who’s met my mother can see, that made me an extra huge baby to be born from her 5 foot 3 little self. As she was pushing, the doctor said, “I see a head!” She stopped pushing, leaned forward, and said, “Does it have hair?” “Just keep pushing!” the doctor yelled back. I love that story about my mom. I’ve given birth to 4 children and I can say with certainty there were no questions on my mind when the head was coming out. “Just get the baby out” was my birth motto.

But my mom was different about stuff like that. She was determined to see the fun in life. She never wanted the good times to end and she refused to focus on the bad.

It’s no secret that my mom struggled with addictions and that our relationship was strained as a result. I don’t know what drove my mom to hide within herself. I don’t know what she was escaping from. I do know she wanted nothing more than to be happy.

I saved all of the letters she wrote to me. I was reading through them this weekend and I wanted to share a part of a letter with you. It’s a small and insignificant moment in her life, but I think it shows the side of my mom that we should remember:

This is the first night I've spent in my room! I finally got cable in tonight. Oh Jenny, I love it! I've been painting and painting! My furniture is bright colors like a purple wicker love seat, a bright yellow wicker chair, a bright green or blue (I can't tell ha!) cover on an antique Chinese couch with little purple or blue dots on it. A bright tropical curtain in the bedroom area, purple and yellow shears on my French doors(which I dyed) (That's in the sitting area) going on to the deck. Plants EVERYWHERE. Now I've got to paint the cabinets in my little kitchen area- I think green and tangerine. My bathroom is jungle- I've got the shower curtain up. It's got jungle animals on it- big and bright! It's so cool- I mean if anyone comes in depressed- they'll for sure leave feeling happy ha!!

My mother was a powerful woman. I would never have used that phrase to describe her before her death. But now that she is gone, and I see things differently, more clearly, I can see the truth about her. Satan attacked my mother nearly every day. He was relentless in his pursuit of her soul. I don’t know what my mother could have been. But I know she was so bright that, excuse the pun, she scared the hell out of Satan. He sent his best demons after her and they won a lot of battles. They tore her down time and time again. But my mother was a powerful woman. She continued to praise our God. She continued to pray for help. She continued to love Jesus Christ. In my mother’s death is victory. There is celebration. Because she fought hard and long and she won. I may have a lot of questions about my mother’s life, but I do not have questions about her soul now that she is gone. I know she is in Heaven.

Ever since she died her laugh keeps replaying in my mind. She had that throaty laugh. Loud and boisterous. And it won’t stop. I know it’s because since the moment she left this earth she has not stopped laughing. For the first time since I was a young girl I am no longer worried about my mother. My spirit is at peace with her. She is finally where she belongs. And Satan can never get to her again. So I hope you will join me as I mourn that I will never hear her laugh on this earth again, but then celebrate with me, because one day we will be rejoined with her. And I believe that as we are welcomed into heaven, we will be greeted by the singing of the angels, the playing of the trumpets, and the laughter of my mother.