Full Hands

Larry and I have a joke in our house that I have "the worst Facebook ever." It seems like every couple of days I'm crying over something I've read on Facebook. And of course, as I'm crying I have to declare, "Read this! You have to read this!" Larry is now at the point where he refuses because he knows it's something incredibly sad. One day I told him, "It's not that I have a terrible Facebook. It's that I know such wonderful women who have had terrible things happen to them." 

It would be easy to complain about my life. It would be easy to find all the stresses of the day and list them on Facebook. I made a decision a long time ago that I would focus on positive stories on Facebook (though all bets are off the last 4 weeks of any pregnancy ;) I may not always hold true to that, but I do make a conscience effort and there are specific reasons for that.

I recently made friends with a woman who found out during her pregnancy that she was going to lose her baby. She carried him for 42 weeks and he lived for 3 hours. I have friends who tried for years, some becoming successful, and others not, to have children. I have friends who have had to bury their small children. It's a grief I do not understand. It's a pain I selfishly pray I never have to experience. 

I'll never forget the Baptism of a man in our church. He shared his story of his walk with Christ and how he lost his 18 month old daughter in a tragic accident at home, which led to a divorce between  him and his wife. I can't shake his story because I know how easily it could become MY story. 

The women I love and care about who post their pain on Facebook- I ache for them. I know they would give anything to hold their babies a second longer. To smell their hair one last time. To feel their kisses. To hug them goodnight. To laugh at their garbled speech. 

I think of those precious women all the time. They remind me to love my children during those times when I. Just. Need. A. Minute. God gave me these children. I don't know why. For everyday that He allows me to love them, I will. I will hug them and kiss them and pray for them and I'll even play Thomas Trains with them. I will appreciate and take pictures of every possible funny thing they do because they bring me joy. They bring me hope. They are mine and I thank God for them everyday. When people tell us we have our hands full, all I can think is that I would rather have full hands than empty ones. I love my children beyond words and I am forever grateful to God for them.