Wow

Today was a day for the books, so I'm updating the blog. I will preface it with this piece of valuable information: every day is NOT like this. Sure, maybe one or two crazy things happen. We have 2 boys, after all. But I can't remember a day like today.


It all started at Barnes and Noble. They have that really fun train track in the kids section. It's really fun if you're playing alone. 


We were not playing alone. 


Sharing trains was not on Isaac's list of things to do today, so he kind of freaked out when I gave 3 of his 7 trains to another little boy. And by "freaked out"I mean he screamed and threw himself on the ground. I saw a corner and stuck him in it, putting him in time out. He screamed. Not just any scream, but the blood curdling scream that makes you cringe and think silently I'm SO glad that's not my kid! Larry came from the front of the store and saw Isaac kicking around on the ground. He spanked him, which quieted him down for a second, but Isaac only proceeded to scream and thrash more. I grabbed him and left the store while Larry stayed with Jared. 


It was cold out.


I didn't have the keys.


So we spent the next few minutes standing on the bench by the front door where I tried to tell Isaac he can't act like that while he proceeded to yell TRAINS! over and over.


Then it happened. Hell froze over.


I told Isaac to look at me. I told him he cannot scream like that. He looked me in the eyes, anger streaming from them, and screamed, loudly. I shook my finger at him and said No! You cannot scream at Mommy! So he did it again and hit my hand away.


I will never forget that moment. My son, my child, the love of my life, purposefully defied me. And with menace. It was bad. 


I called Larry, got Isaac in the car, and he got his first spanking from me when we got home. 


That was Part I of the day.


Now for Part II.
Isaac and Jared were playing in the living room while I cleaned the kitchen. I heard Jared cry out and went to check what was happening. Here is what I saw:
The red and yellow car that the boys got for Christmas was sitting in the foyer. Isaac was in the driver's seat. And coming out from under the car were Jared's little legs. 
He had been run over. By his own brother.


I pulled him out to safety and once I saw that he was okay I laughed. I couldn't help it. It was hysterical and I laughed a lot. 


Part III
Once again the boys were playing and I was talking to my Dad on the phone. I went into the living room to see Jared standing on a little rocking chair looking out the window. Resourceful, yes. Safe, not so much.


The kid is going to give me a heart attack.


Part IV
I was sending an email to a family member to set up a time to meet. I realized that Jared was quiet the entire time I was sending the email. He's only quiet when he's getting into something. Sure enough, I had forgotten to close the bathroom door. I mean, seriously?! I was in the living room! He wandered around the corner and went straight to the bathroom where he was throwing things from the trash can into the toilet. I said "No, Jared! Stop!" He looked at me and he did exactly what I would expect a 14 month old to do: He laughed.


I grabbed him and took him upstairs to take a bath. I asked Isaac if he wanted a bath and he said no. As I was getting Jared undressed, Isaac climbed into the tub. With all of his clothes on. 


At this point I knew God was laughing. He had to be. 


The boys took their bath and I got Jared out, dressed, and put the gate up. Isaac finished his bath and he got dressed. Then I had a feeling. I couldn't hear Jared, so I went to the hall. He had pushed the gate down and was crawling over it. When he heard me he turned his head and smiled. 


Seriously?! How did he manage to push the gate down without making a sound!?


So here are the lessons of the day:


Expect the unexpected.


Baby proofing isn't enough- it's time to Jared Proof.


Never ask a 2 year to share trains. Ever.