I've been thinking about Noah a lot lately. As I reflect back on the almost 6 years that I've been married, it feels like Larry and I are constantly building arks. As soon as one flood is over, the water recedes, and the dove returns with the leaf, we are called again to build a new ark. We are currently building yet another ark. We are standing in the middle of a hot, dry, sunny, cloudless desert. Building. Waiting. Trusting.
As I think about the areas of our life we've handed over to God- our marriage, our finances, our children, I am keenly aware that handing things over to God does not mean things will go well. Or that things will be easy. All it means is that we are doing as we are commanded to help fulfill God's will. This is a lesson I've had to learn the hard way. During some financial hardships we had after Jared's birth I was angry and confused at God. Here we had done as He commanded. We should have been blessed! Yet here we sat, stressed, depressed, and broke. It made no sense to me. Thankfully I married a man who had more faith than I did. He taught me that we do not follow God's will so we can be blessed. We follow God's will because that's what He has commanded. And He will bless us. He will always care for us. He will always provide. So during those times we had to think about things in extremes. Well, somehow we paid our mortgage this month. Somehow that check arrived just in time. Somehow we did not get sick this month. Somehow. Somehow.
Somehow.
And we made it through.
Which brings me back to Noah. As I listened to that story as a kid, the emphasis was on the building of the ark. How Noah did what he was meant to do, not what everyone around him was doing, and he was the one who survived.
But there's so much more to that event. There are the days. The individual days. The 40 days of rain. The 150 days that the water covered the earth. Then a wind came and he had to wait as the water receded. In total he was on the ark about a year. And I have to wonder, what was it like? I mean, there are only so many games of Chess you can play with your family. There are only so many times you can feed the animals and clean up their mess. After 6 months of rain and then silence as the waters covered the earth, Chapter 8 starts with "But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and livestock that were with him in the ark..." It makes me think Noah felt forgotten. I know I would.
I know I have.
Let's be real. It's frustrating. You do what God has commanded and then you wait. As you wait you wonder why you feel led to do things no one else around you is doing. You feel the loneliness as people around you think to themselves, "I don't know why they did this" and you have no one to turn to because no one else understands. Then, one day, the wind comes and the water begins to recede. You finally get some hope. But you're still stuck on the ark. All you can do is continue to wait. And trust. You send the dove out. Full of hope. And it comes back empty. And you feel crushed because you thought for sure it was time. That things were going to be ok. You wait. You send out another dove. It comes back with something green and it's the most beautiful piece of green earth you've ever seen. It means God really hasn't forgotten. You begin to get excited, but you still have to wait. You still have to trust. And then one day the dove doesn't come back and you can open the doors.
Chapter 9 says, "Then God blessed Noah and his sons... Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything."
The relief he must have felt. The relief I have felt. It's incredible.
But with that came rules. Responsibility. Noah was put in charge of filling the earth. He was in charge of all the animals of the earth and sea. "I will demand an accounting from every animal. And from each man, too."
Following God's will is not easy. God made it clear in Genesis that it would never be easy. Sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I get scared. I feel the weight of the responsibility I have in raising these three sons and soon, a daughter. But I remember the leaves that the doves have brought back to me. I remember God's promises. And I know that our lives are bigger than the times on the ark. Following God's will is not for daily rewards. It's for generational fulfillment. Some doves may not bring me leaves, but they will bring the leaves to my sons. Or maybe they will bring the leaves to my son's sons. I've spent days on the ark where I have to remind myself that today is going to be a memory, a blip. I'm not living this life so I can have rewards. I'm living this life because God has called me to live this life. This time on the ark is brief. Although it's difficult sometimes, I know God has made a promise to me. One day, I will open the doors of the ark and I will enter heaven. As beautiful as the leaves are that the doves bring to me, they do not compare to the beauty and peace that heaven will bring.
That's what building arks is all about. It's knowing that the waters will recede. The doors will open. And God will be there.
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