Our Decision

We have decided to have a home birth!


Before I explain how we came to this decision, it's important to note that I am not trying to convince anyone to have a home birth. Many people feel safer in a hospital and I certainly respect that. This post is simply to explain why we are choosing a home birth. Also, it does not include ALL of the reasons. Some of the important highlights are here, but there are certainly more. 


Many of you know that I had postpartum depression after we had Jared. It was a direct result of what happened to us in the hospital.When I found out I was pregnant again, I knew I needed a different experience. With my first two, I knew I wanted an epidural. This time, I wanted to have no interventions and I did not want to be induced in any way. I knew in order for that to happen I would need a midwife. Then I realized that going back to Northside was not going to happen for me. I would get severe anxiety at the thought of stepping into that hospital, let alone having my next baby there. Larry also feels that if we continued to have babies at Northside, we would have eventually had a C-Section and I believe that 100%.


So the hunt was on. I looked at birth centers (only 1 in GA and it's in Savannah), home births, and different hospitals. There was one midwife that I was interested in meeting about home births so we set up a meeting. I liked everything she said, but I still wasn't sure. I found information on North Fulton and found it to be a very "mother friendly" hospital. I found a Christian midwife and we decided we would try a water birth at that hospital. We also found a Christian doula and knew that we would have an advocate and help during the birth.


Skip ahead and it was time for the hospital tour. I did not expect to feel the way I did. I didn't feel comfortable and started having anxiety again. When we left I emailed a previous client of my doula, who was scheduled to have a home birth, and asked who her midwife was. It turns out that she is the same person who I had interviewed at the beginning of my pregnancy.


So the thinking and praying and thinking and praying started. After speaking to my doula and a woman she knows who had home births, and reading about home births, I realized I could not choose a home birth out of fear. I know that if we were to deliver at North Fulton, I would have a positive birth experience. The hospital is not the same as Northside, I would have a midwife who knows my fears, and a doula who would also know my fears and would be able to stand up for me. Basically, I would have strong Christian women surrounding me that would ensure my needs and wishes were met.


But I still wanted a home birth. I thought about things that happened BEFORE Jared was born that could help me see if a home birth is for me.


1. When I was pregnant with Isaac the doctors were concerned about his size. They said they would let me "try" to push, but we might do a c section. I strongly believe that my body is designed by God and my babies are designed by God. He's not one to make mistakes, so I knew I would be able to push Isaac out. Even with an epidural that didn't work right and gave me an inability to feel anything, I pushed him out at 9 lbs in 30 minutes. And when the lactation consultant told me he was too big to nurse and would need formula, I knew she was wrong. God is not going to give me a baby that I cannot feed.


2. When pregnant with Jared I called my insurance company after I started receiving bills from the Obgyn. My new insurance was supposed to cover well visits 100%. The agent told me that pregnancy is a condition and I told him "I'm not sick, I'm having a baby. I'm going to the doctor because I'm supposed to in order to make sure I stay healthy while I'm pregnant. I'm not sick!"


These are two important philosophies for me. Hospitals and doctors are there for a reason. We need them if something's wrong. But nothing is wrong with me. I'm experiencing something very natural. I have a "proven pelvis" and low risk pregnancies with easy deliveries.


Of course, there can be complications and that is why I have chosen the midwife that we will use. Charlotte Sanchez is a midwife that was a co-director of a free standing birth center in Michigan. She has a medical background and lots of experience. However, she said several times "It's a home birth, but not at all costs." If we need to, we will go to the hospital. I am at peace with that since she is also a Christian and will pray with the doulas and I before, during and after the delivery. If anything negative starts to happen before, during, or after delivery we will head straight to the hospital since that's what they are there for.


I cannot say how excited I am. There are so many little benefits to being at home. I don't have to get to the hospital, I can have as many people here as I want, no one has to wait in the waiting room for news, and I can be with my family where I am most comfortable. The midwife will be with me the entire time and I will have personalized attention, rather than a machine or nurses I don't know constantly checking me. Since the midwife does not carry formula, I know without a doubt that I will not be forced or scared into feeding my baby formula the first day of life. 


There's something powerful about knowing that every single person who walks into my home while I am in labor will pray with me. Every person who touches Grayson and checks him, cleans him, and helps him as needed will have consulted God beforehand. It doesn't mean there won't be complications, but it certainly gives me a peace that anything that comes up is part of God's plan. 


I won't get into the history of birth and hospitals on here, but it certainly played a part in my decision. Doctors are highly trained professionals to fix things that go wrong. However, there is an insane c-section rate happening in our country right now. Doctors are scared of lawsuits and they are trained for c-sections. Hospitals do not want to let a woman labor for too many hours and often bring pitocin into the picture to speed things up. One intervention often leads to a trickle effect of interventions, ending in a c-section. An argument people often bring up about the c-section rate is elective c-section. Our c-section rate used to be, and should only be 5%. Are 25% of women really electing for c-sections? If that's the case, then why is that? Our society has instilled a fear of birth that I fell into as well- which is why I said Epidural! the moment I got pregnant. And if that many women are not electing c-sections, then have our bodies really given up on us? I don't think so. Here's what I will say. If you are going to have a birth, whether it's your first or your 10th, and you don't know the history of birthing in our country, please read up on it. It's fascinating and it will blow your mind. I really don't care where a woman chooses to have babies as long as she is happy with her decision. 


I will say this: This is my 3rd birth experience and I feel like it's my first. I have been learning so much about ALL of the pros and cons on all sides. I am more excited about this birth and more at peace about where we are delivering and who we are delivering with, than ever before. 


So that's the long story. I know people will have concerns, and seriously, let me know what they are. My plan is to be prepared. So if I don't know the answer, I want to know it.